CHAPTER 1 from BEAUTIFUL MISERY

Chapter 1 unedited and could change before publishing...happy reading :)



Groaning, I rolled over only to come face to face with some naked brunette. Using my hands I scrubbed my face and sighed. She must have heard me because her makeup smeared yes popped opened.

“Morning, sexy.” The unknown girl purred.

Attempting to climb on top of me I placed my hands on her tiny shoulders and pushed her off. Shaking my head I said, “Don’t think so sweetheart. You can get dressed and go. I’m going to get a shower and when I get out I expect you to be gone.”

The girl huffed, “You really are an ass.”

Shrugging I replied, “But you still came back to my house. You got what you wanted and I got what I wanted, so you are free to go.”

With no shame the girl climbed from my bed, she was beautiful but she wasn’t my girl. She wasn’t Jenna, no one was. Closing my eyes, pictures of Jenna flashed through my mind. It had been eighteen months since I walked away from her. Eighteen months of hell. I always knew she would pick Larkin, and he was right for her, for their family. But it still hurt. I wanted to see her happy and she was. When we were around each other or talking on the phone I acted like nothing was wrong, that my life was amazing as NFL football star, Gage Tucker. I never let on as to how hurt I was, how broken I had become. Giving her to Larkin nearly tore me apart, but I held it together for her, to see that she was happy. She deserved it, after everything she had been through, no one in the world deserved happiness more than her.

A tapping on my shoulder brought me back to reality. Opening my eyes I glared at the girl. “What?”

She smirked and said, “Know where my panties are? Someone was impatient last night and tossed them, now I can’t find them.”

Using my thumb and pointer finger I rubbed my eyes and stopped to pinch the bridge of my nose. “Fuck. I don’t know. Can’t you write down your address? If I find them, I will mail them to you.”

Crossing her arms random girl pursed her lips and bit out, “You can’t be fucking serious? I am not giving you a free souvenir while I walk away with nothing. Give me something of yours.”

Completely naked I jumped from my bed and stomped to my dresser. Yanking open the top drawer I grabbed the first pair of boxers I saw and tossed them at her. “There, now get out.”

Not waiting for her to say anything I stomped into my bathroom and slammed the door, locking it behind me. Turning on the shower I waited until I heard my apartment door slam shut before I got in. The hot water stung as it hit my skin, I found it calming. This sting was nowhere near the sting I felt every day, coming home to nothing. Walking into an empty apartment I had picked out for the family I thought would be living here. Instead that family was on the opposite side of the country.

When the water started to chill I shut it off and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my waist.

Opening my bathroom door I padded across my room to my dresser. Stopping halfway when I heard voices coming from the other side of my bedroom door. Figuring random girl hadn’t left and in fact had stayed and invited friends over I threw open my bedroom door and yelled, “What the fuck are you…”

I stopped mid-sentence as the cutest little girl came bouncing towards me. Just as she jumped, I picked her up and hugged her tight.

“Unky Gage! Mama has pwize fa you.” Evie giggled.

Looking up from the sweetest face I saw Jenna and Larkin, holding hands and smiling. Burying my jealousy I plastered a smile on and walked to them.

Still holding Evie I wrapped one arm around Jenna’s shoulders and kissed the top of her head. Jenna stepped away as Larkin and I shared a man hug.

Jenna used her fingers to move Evie’s wild hair out of her eyes then stared at me before asking, “Who were you yelling at?”

Not wanting to tell her the truth but not wanting to lie I chewed my bottom lip for a minute then said, “I had a few people over last night. I told them to leave a while ago and when I heard voices after I got out of the shower, I figured she…er ugh they were still here.”

Evie wiggled and I sat her on the floor and watched her run down the hall to the room with all her toys.

Turning back to Jenna and Larkin they were both smirking at me. Jenna was the first to say something. “She, huh?”

Larkin clapped my back and laughed. “Man, it’s a wonder there isn’t a thousand little Gage’s out there running around.”

Smiling I shook my head and said, “Fuck off. Your gorgeous little girl said you had a surprise. What is it?”

Larkin kissed Jenna’s cheek and I couldn’t help the jealousy that ripped through me but I held my smile and waited.

Jenna had the biggest smile as she spoke, “You like being Evie’s uncle, right?” I nodded and she continued, “How would you feel about being an uncle of three?”

Not connecting the dots I pulled my brows together and asked, “Dylan knocked someone up? How do you know that before me?”

Larkin and Jenna both laughed. Then Jenna shook her head and said, “No, I’m knocked up. This fucker did it double time this time and I’m having twins.” Jenna rubbed her hand over her belly, I could see it now. She had a small bump in her stomach.

Looking between Jenna and Larkin I finally said, “Wow, congratulations. But, is this safe? Will you and the babies be ok?”

They both nodded their heads and Jenna said, “Yes. I will obviously be high risk and will most likely end up on bed rest but my doctor said everyone should be fine.”

I pulled Jenna into a tight hug then clapped Larkin’s shoulder.

“So who else knows?” I asked.

Jenna bit her lip and answered, “No one. I just found out a few weeks ago. We went home a week ago and I had to hide it from everyone. Kota was in some trouble. He’s now in rehab and hopefully he gets out and stays clean.”

Kota had been like my little brother. With a concerned voice I asked, “What was going on with him? Is he safe? Where is he at for rehab?”

Jenna looked at Larkin, I could see her tears building. Looking back at me I saw so much hurt as she spoke, “He hasn’t taken dad’s death very well. Basically he feels abandoned. He turned to drugs and I think he was drinking too, maybe having sex. But Larkin talked to him and got him to go to rehab. He’s at Gulf Coast Rehab for twelve weeks.”

Nodding my head as I let all the information I was just given absorb I raked my hands through my hair, clasping them behind my head. “So, he’s going to be ok?”

Both Jenna and Larkin nodded.

“I hope so, your mom doesn’t need anything else happening to her. So why did you fly all the way to NYC to tell me your pregnant?”

Jenna ducked her head and said, “Well, we are waiting until Evie’s birthday so we can tell everyone together. And since you said you weren’t sure if you would be able to make it to her party we decided to come here and tell you.”

Smiling I said, “I told you I wouldn’t be in town on her birthday. I never said I wouldn’t be at her party. You’re having it in Fairhope, right?”

Jenna nodded, looking confused. “Yes. If it’s nice we want to have a beach party. She loves the ocean. And instead of trying to have everyone fly to San Diego we opted for Fairhope. Only a few people would have to fly in for that.”

“Look at you being all considerate,” I joked.

“Ass,” Jenna said as she smacked my shoulder.

“But, I will be at Evie’s party. I couldn’t miss my favorite little girl’s birthday. I am actually leaving in a few days to go to Fairhope. I’m looking into opening a bar on the beach in the old Surfer’s Soul place. If I do, I will be in Fairhope for a while, probably until I have to be back here for football.”

“That is amazing. I am so proud of you. You have always said you wanted a place like that on the beach,” Jenna said excitedly.

“We better get free drinks, fucker,” Larkin joked.

“I figured I might as well do it know, while it’s just me and I don’t have someone telling me what I can and can’t do.” I winked at Larkin.

Jenna narrowed her eyes at Larkin when he started laughing.

“No, man. It’s not like that at all. Life is all fuckin daisies and lollipops.” Larkin’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

Jenna scowled as she said, “You both can go to hell. I’m going to check on my girl.”

Larkin and I both watched as Jenna walked away.

Larkin shook his head and said, “God, I fucking love her.”

Giving him a sad smile I whispered, “Ya, me too.”

Larkin didn’t hear me or ignored my comment. He instead started walking after his wife, the women who was at one time my best friend and had my ring on her finger. I sighed and followed Larkin.

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing with Evie and talking about life, well mainly their life. I tried to keep mine as vague and simple as possible.

When Evie started getting restless Jenna said they needed to go. And their plane left early the next morning, Larkin had to get back for some meetings.

“Why don’t y’all stay here? I can drive you to the airport in the morning.” I said.

Evie started prancing around and singing, “Sweep ober wif Unky Gage yay yay yay!”

Jenna laughed. “Well, I guess it’s been decided. Good thing you got a three bedroom apartment.”

Jenna didn’t know I had gotten this place when we were together. She didn’t know this was supposed to be our place. Looking at Jenna as she watched her daughter dance around I said, “Yeah, sure is. I really don’t have food since I wasn’t planning on being here after tomorrow. I can run to the store or we can order something for dinner.”

Jenna smirked and said, “Let me take a look. I’m sure you have something that I can make.”

Gesturing towards the kitchen with my hand, I mumbled, “Go for it.”

A few minutes later Jenna yelled from the kitchen, “This is hopeless! Let’s just order pizza or something. You sir, have nothing.”

Shrugging I said, “Told you. Just pepperoni for you?”

Jenna smiled and nodded. “Yes, please.”

Walking away I pulled out my phone and called the pizza place a few blocks away.

After dinner Jenna, Larkin, and Evie told me goodnight and all went to my spare bedroom, well the one that wasn’t covered in Evie’s toys.

Trying to fall asleep was nearly impossible. Just knowing the girl I loved was a few rooms away was torture. It felt like I had just got to sleep when there was knocking on my door.

Slightly opening the door, Jenna poked her head in and said, “Hey. It’s a little after eight. Our flight leaves at eleven, do you still want to drive or would it be easier if we got a cab?”

Sitting up I ran my hand through my hair and yawned. “I told you I would take you. Give me ten minutes and we can leave.”

Jenna rested her head on the door and sighed. “Gage, I don’t know what’s wrong with you but I’m here. If you need to talk…” Jenna shrugged before continuing, “I’m always here. I love you and you mean so much to not just me but Evie and Larkin, too.”

Plastering on a fake smile I said, “I’m fine. I am living the life.”

Jenna rolled her eyes before stepping back and closing the door. Feeling my smile fade I got out of bed and took a quick shower and got dressed.

Grabbing my keys and wallet off my dresser I walked out my bedroom door and into the living room asking, “Ready?”

**********

Pulling into the airport I put my Mercedes in park and climbed out. Pulling the two suitcases from my trunk I sat them on the ground and pulled Evie into my arms. “Be a good girl, ok? I will see you in a few weeks for your birthday. Love you, babygirl.”

 “Wub you too, Unky Gage,” Evie said as she squeezed her tiny arms around my neck.

Standing Evie next to Larkin, I shook his hand and told him bye.

Turning to Jenna I placed my hands on either side of her face and kissed her forehead. “Love you, be safe. See you soon.”

Dropping my hands I turned to walk back to my car. Just before I opened my door I heard Jenna say, “Love you too. Remember what I said and just know I know you better than you know you.”

Smirking I said, “Not anymore babe. See you in a few weeks.” Not waiting I opened my door and jumped inside, speeding off.

I spent my day on the phone making plans and arrangements to open my own bar on the beach. But, in the back of my mind I couldn’t stop thinking about Jenna.

After a long day I decided to hit up a few clubs in the city, hopefully clear my mind…if only for a few hours.

Five beers, eleven shots, and three jack and Cokes later I was feeling pretty good. When the pretty girl with jet black hair walked up beside me, she had my full attention.

“Hi, I’m Tara.”

Nodding once I tipped my beer in her direction and said, “Hi Tara, I’m Gage. But, I’m sure you knew that.”

Tara winked and pushed her boobs together. “You look like you need some company.”

Smirking I asked, “Wanna help me out with that?”